Original Poem:

I Wish Flowers Never Died 

As her leaves begin to wither

His memories lose detail

Her colors shift from vibrant to pastel

While his hair fades from brown to gray.

.

As her stem starts to wilt

His spine does too

His bones are now as delicate

As her paper thin petals.

.

Her very last petal drops

He takes his very last breath

Now two beautiful lives

Are finally at rest.

.

Revised poem:

I Wish Flowers Never Died

His memories lose detail,

like how a flowers leaves begin to wither.

And his hair fades from brown to gray,

Like how her once vibrant colors fade to pastel. 

.

Her stem wilts

and his spine does too,

with bones as delicate

as her paper thin petals.

.

When her very last petal drops,

and he takes his very last breath,

two beautiful lives

will finally be at rest.